In the past I’ve mentioned a few of the goofy email hoaxes some of our co-workers have fallen for, flooding the postal email system with dire warnings about terrorists dressed as UPS men, or amazing cash giveaways from Microsoft that have somehow been overlooked by the media, but that you can get in on if you just forward the offer to everyone on your mailing list!

Today’s email, however, brought a hoax email that really wasn’t funny at all- in fact, it could kill you. This one had as its subject: “Heart Attack Slide Show- What To Do If You’re Alone”. The text of the email said “The American Heart Association includes this presentation in their Cardiopulmonary Resuscitation Training. Thought it was worth passing on.”

Fair enough- I’m old enough to have pondered exactly what I would do if I was, say, driving to work alone in my car, and felt sudden chest pains and the rest. Usually it involves my cell phone and the numbers 911, and keeping some aspirin in the glove box.

But no, the supposedly official presentation (which is surprisingly amateurish for something supposedly produced by a major national medical organization) suggests instead that you “start coughing repeatedly and vigorously”! There’s more, but it’s basically cough every two seconds “without let-up until help arrives, or until the heart is beating normally again.” No mention of calling 911.

The next slide explains how the process works, getting oxygen into your lungs, and squeezing the heart to keep your blood circulating. It also refers you to the source of the information, an article “published on N.O 240 of Journal of General Hospital Rochester”.

At this point in the presentation I was more than a little skeptical. The last slide sounded the alarm bells, though- it included not one, but two admonitions to “send this to as many people as possible!”.

But the presentation was supposed to be from the American Heart Association, and it had some kind of reference to Rochester General Hospital, so I decided to check those references out.

Googling the words cough and cpr together brings you immediately to a page on the American Heart Association’s web site entitled “Cough CPR”. The first paragraph reads :

The American Heart Association does not endorse “cough CPR,” a coughing procedure widely publicized on the Internet. As noted in the 2005 American Heart Association Guidelines for Cardiopulmonary Resuscitation and Emergency Cardiovascular Care, the American Heart Association DOES NOT TEACH THIS AS PART OF THE CORE CURRICULUM IN ANY COURSE.

The Heart Association page goes on to describe the theory behind “cough CPR”, but concludes “the usefulness of “cough CPR” is generally limited to monitored patients with a witnessed arrest in the hospital setting.”

OK. So what does the American Heart Association suggest you do if you’re driving down the road by yourself and feel the onset of a heart attack?

The best strategy is to be aware of the early warning signs for heart attack and cardiac arrest and respond to them by calling 9-1-1. If you’re driving alone and you start having severe chest pain or discomfort that starts to spread into your arm and up into your jaw (the scenario presented in the Internet article), pull over and flag down another motorist for help or phone 9-1-1 on a cellular telephone.

No coughing. Just what common sense had already told you you should do.

But wait- what about that journal article from Rochester General Hospital?

Not surprisingly, the hospital has had to post a page on its website to deal with inquiries from this email. Here’s what it says:

Hundreds of people around the country have been receiving an e-mail message entitled “How to Survive a Heart Attack When Alone.” This article recommends a procedure to survive a heart attack in which the victim is advised to repeatedly cough at regular intervals until help arrives.

The source of information for this article was attributed to ViaHealth Rochester General Hospital. This article is being propagated on the Internet as individuals send it to friends and acquaintances – and then those recipients of the memo send it to their friends and acquaintances, and so on.

We can find no record that an article even resembling this was produced by Rochester General Hospital within the last 20 years. Furthermore, the medical information listed in the article can not be verified by current medical literature and is in no way condoned by this hospital’s medical staff. Also, both The Mended Hearts, Inc., a support organization for heart patients, and the American Heart Association have said that this information should not be forwarded or used by anyone.

Please help us combat the proliferation of this misinformation. We ask that you please send this e-mail to anyone who sent you the article, and please ask them to do the same.

Moral of the story? Medical breakthroughs and life saving techniques are not likely to surface first in anonymous emails that beg you to copy them to everyone you know. Fortunately, the speed and pervasiveness of the Internet, which make it so easy to spread dangerous misinformation, also make it easier to disprove that misinformation. You just have to take a few minutes to look around.

Unfortunately, the person who sent me this particular email was unimpressed by the denials of the American Heart Association and the Rochester General Hospital. I even pointed her to the sad history of this hoax, which originated in 1999, and is available on Snopes.com.

Her response? Was she embarrassed to have spread false medical advice? Was she worried that someone might die because they took her advice and started coughing instead of calling for help?

Not at all. Here’s her reply, in its entirety:

“Okay, thanks. I did run it by our CPR instructor, who’s an EMT, and he assured me it was legit.”

They’re out there!

Here we go again- another hoax email gets broadcast over the USPS email system. And, just like last time, it goes out on a Friday night. This one warns the recipients that “There has been a huge purchase, $32,000 worth, of United Parcel Service (UPS) uniforms on eBay over the last 30 days.” Some kind of mass Halloween stunt? Of course not! It’s (drum roll) Terrorists!!!!!

“This could represent a serious threat as bogus drivers(terrorists) can drop off anything to anyone with deadly consequences! If you have ANY questions when a UPS driver appears at your door they should be able to furnish VALID I.D.”

And just to make sure, the email suggests you check to make sure the suspect delivery person actually arrived in a UPS truck. Good thinking.

Now all of that should be enough to make the average chimpanzee determine that this email is bogus, but any doubts should have been erased by the final advice the sender offers:

“PLEASE send to EVERYONEon your list, even if they are friend or foe. We should all be aware!”

It’s subtle, I know, but still- in all the years that I’ve been sending and receiving email (and I go waaaaay back to MCI Mail and VAX mail), I have never, ever, ever, received a legitimate, reputable email that told me to “send to EVERYONEon your list”. Never.

Oh well. This will be an interesting test, if nothing else. The email was sent by a plant supervisor, whose identity I’ll keep under wraps, because he is obviously somewhat in need of protective custody. For reasons that are unclear, he sent it to several Budget Analyst lists. What was he thinking? “Hey- this is important information! I’ve gotta get the word out! What should I do?! I know!! I’ll send it to the Budget Analysts!! They’ll know what to do!!!!!” Or something like that.

It will be interesting to see how many (if any) of my colleagues fall for this. I’m keeping my fingers crossed…

The dopey email chain letter we told you about last Saturday was still floating around on Tuesday, after creating a cascade of repeat emails all day Monday. Most of the emails weren’t from people forwarding the original, but from people replying to “all”, complaining about getting the message. These folks seemed totally oblivious to the fact that they were the problem!

I set up a rule in Outlook to dump the emails unread as they arrived, but I couldn’t resist having a look at a few first- here’s a sampling of what some of our dimmer co-workers had to say:

“How in the world did you get my name. Do not send this crap to me or use Postal E-mail for this unauthorized mail.” (From a “National Account Executive”, who apparently doesn’t know he’s in the email directory)

A mgr Emergency Preparedness sent out copies of a Snopes article (not the right one)

A Postmaster in Washington State took time from his busy day: “I don’t know what you folks have to do in Flushing, New York, but obviously you have way to much time on your hands. Stop sending this as this is an official site designated for postal operations only.”

And from a contractor who has no sense of irony: “Everybody, please, stop hitting “reply all” to say how much you hate this email. We all do. And we’re all tired of deleting the umpteen million “I hate this email – stop sending it to me” that are coming through. Thanks.”
Of course, he sent his plea to “all”.

From another National Sales Manager: “EVERYONE—-JUST STOP SENDING!!!!!!!!!!” sent to all, of course!

And a manager of Customer Services in Oregon: “I did not ask for the e-mail, I did not send, it on and it is cluttering our e-mail system unnecessarily. STOP NOW!”

A manager of Customer Services in Michigan twice sent this pathetic cry:”I did not send this to any of these people and I do not want it. Somebody sent it to me and now I am in the loop. Can you make it stop?????????????????? “

A postmaster on Long Island: “Why are you sending this to me? Do you know me?”

USPS News Link: Inappropriate e-mails waste time and money

Yesterday’s email at my USPS job brought one of those really dumb forwarded emails that promises money if you just forward the email to as many people as possible. It’s not something that happens a lot, fortunately, but it still amazes me when it does. The subject line, which should have tipped off anyone with an IQ above room temperature, was “RE: PLEEEEEEASE REEEEEAD! IT WAS ON GOOD MORNING AMERICA TODAY SHOW …”

This particular email hoax has been around in one version or another for almost ten years according to Snopes.com, the best source for info on urban legends, hoaxes and scams. The version of the email posted at Snopes (collected in 2004) is almost identical to the one I received yesterday.

As annoying as this kind of thing is, there is a certain entertainment value to it. The email is typical of a forwarded chain email in that the actual text of the hoax is far down the body of the message, below the list of those who forwarded it. That makes it easy to trace where the message came from, and who was dim enough to send it on. This one started with a clerk in California, who forwarded it to a dozen or so people. After a few more forwards, it went to the Washington DC area, where it bounced around a few more times before heading for Arkansas, where it was forwarded via a couple of district mailing lists to a Postmaster, who unaccountably forwarded it to some finance related mailing lists, which is how it ended up in my inbox.

There are both management and bargaining unit employees on the list of forwarders, none of whom apparently had any doubts about a message that included phrases like

“My brother’s girlfriend got in on this a few months ago. When i went to visit him for the Baylor/UT game. She showed me her check. It was for the sum of $4,324.44 and was stamped “Paid in full”.

(So not only are these folks gullible, they apparently don’t know how checks work? Oh- and an honorable mention for the District Finance Manager who, on receiving the message, promptly replied to “all” informing the recipients that the message was a hoax and not to forward it. Ummm, thanks for the valuable insight.)

The value of hard copy, delivered by mail:

“It’s an interesting question.  And a strategic one.  If I’m publishing a fee-based newsletter, is it better to email or print and snail mail it to my audience?  According to Christopher Knight at Email Universe.com, it’s better to print it…if you want your reader to value it most.”

Jim Logan – Should You Print Or Email Your Fee-Based Newsletter?