From WFSB TV Hartford:

Here we go again- another hoax email gets broadcast over the USPS email system. And, just like last time, it goes out on a Friday night. This one warns the recipients that “There has been a huge purchase, $32,000 worth, of United Parcel Service (UPS) uniforms on eBay over the last 30 days.” Some kind of mass Halloween stunt? Of course not! It’s (drum roll) Terrorists!!!!!

“This could represent a serious threat as bogus drivers(terrorists) can drop off anything to anyone with deadly consequences! If you have ANY questions when a UPS driver appears at your door they should be able to furnish VALID I.D.”

And just to make sure, the email suggests you check to make sure the suspect delivery person actually arrived in a UPS truck. Good thinking.

Now all of that should be enough to make the average chimpanzee determine that this email is bogus, but any doubts should have been erased by the final advice the sender offers:

“PLEASE send to EVERYONEon your list, even if they are friend or foe. We should all be aware!”

It’s subtle, I know, but still- in all the years that I’ve been sending and receiving email (and I go waaaaay back to MCI Mail and VAX mail), I have never, ever, ever, received a legitimate, reputable email that told me to “send to EVERYONEon your list”. Never.

Oh well. This will be an interesting test, if nothing else. The email was sent by a plant supervisor, whose identity I’ll keep under wraps, because he is obviously somewhat in need of protective custody. For reasons that are unclear, he sent it to several Budget Analyst lists. What was he thinking? “Hey- this is important information! I’ve gotta get the word out! What should I do?! I know!! I’ll send it to the Budget Analysts!! They’ll know what to do!!!!!” Or something like that.

It will be interesting to see how many (if any) of my colleagues fall for this. I’m keeping my fingers crossed…

INFORMATION ISSUED BY U.S. ATTORNEY’S OFFICE FOR SOUTH DAKOTA ON OCT. 5: LOWER BRULE WOMAN SENTENCED FOR MISAPPROPRIATION OF POSTAL FUNDS

5 October 2006

PIERRE, S.D., Oct. 5 — The U.S. Department of Justice’s U.S. Attorney’s office for South Dakota issued the following press release:

United States Attorney Marty J. Jackley announced that Ila Ann Crain, age 37, of Lower Brule, South Dakota, was sentenced October 2, 2006, by United States District Judge Charles B. Kornmann to 1 year probation and $4,887 restitution to the United States Postal Service.

Crain was originally indicted by a federal grand jury in April 2006 for Misappropriation of Postal Funds and False Entries in Connection With the Postal System. On June 27, 2006, Crain pled guilty to Misappropriation of Postal Funds. The charge relates to the conversion of United States Postal Service funds and money to her own use between October 1, 2005, and January 18, 2006.

This case was investigated by the United States Postal Inspection Office and was prosecuted by Assistant United States Attorney Mikal Hanson.

Marty J. Jackley, 605/330-4400.

The dopey email chain letter we told you about last Saturday was still floating around on Tuesday, after creating a cascade of repeat emails all day Monday. Most of the emails weren’t from people forwarding the original, but from people replying to “all”, complaining about getting the message. These folks seemed totally oblivious to the fact that they were the problem!

I set up a rule in Outlook to dump the emails unread as they arrived, but I couldn’t resist having a look at a few first- here’s a sampling of what some of our dimmer co-workers had to say:

“How in the world did you get my name. Do not send this crap to me or use Postal E-mail for this unauthorized mail.” (From a “National Account Executive”, who apparently doesn’t know he’s in the email directory)

A mgr Emergency Preparedness sent out copies of a Snopes article (not the right one)

A Postmaster in Washington State took time from his busy day: “I don’t know what you folks have to do in Flushing, New York, but obviously you have way to much time on your hands. Stop sending this as this is an official site designated for postal operations only.”

And from a contractor who has no sense of irony: “Everybody, please, stop hitting “reply all” to say how much you hate this email. We all do. And we’re all tired of deleting the umpteen million “I hate this email – stop sending it to me” that are coming through. Thanks.”
Of course, he sent his plea to “all”.

From another National Sales Manager: “EVERYONE—-JUST STOP SENDING!!!!!!!!!!” sent to all, of course!

And a manager of Customer Services in Oregon: “I did not ask for the e-mail, I did not send, it on and it is cluttering our e-mail system unnecessarily. STOP NOW!”

A manager of Customer Services in Michigan twice sent this pathetic cry:”I did not send this to any of these people and I do not want it. Somebody sent it to me and now I am in the loop. Can you make it stop?????????????????? “

A postmaster on Long Island: “Why are you sending this to me? Do you know me?”

USPS News Link: Inappropriate e-mails waste time and money

Yesterday’s email at my USPS job brought one of those really dumb forwarded emails that promises money if you just forward the email to as many people as possible. It’s not something that happens a lot, fortunately, but it still amazes me when it does. The subject line, which should have tipped off anyone with an IQ above room temperature, was “RE: PLEEEEEEASE REEEEEAD! IT WAS ON GOOD MORNING AMERICA TODAY SHOW …”

This particular email hoax has been around in one version or another for almost ten years according to Snopes.com, the best source for info on urban legends, hoaxes and scams. The version of the email posted at Snopes (collected in 2004) is almost identical to the one I received yesterday.

As annoying as this kind of thing is, there is a certain entertainment value to it. The email is typical of a forwarded chain email in that the actual text of the hoax is far down the body of the message, below the list of those who forwarded it. That makes it easy to trace where the message came from, and who was dim enough to send it on. This one started with a clerk in California, who forwarded it to a dozen or so people. After a few more forwards, it went to the Washington DC area, where it bounced around a few more times before heading for Arkansas, where it was forwarded via a couple of district mailing lists to a Postmaster, who unaccountably forwarded it to some finance related mailing lists, which is how it ended up in my inbox.

There are both management and bargaining unit employees on the list of forwarders, none of whom apparently had any doubts about a message that included phrases like

“My brother’s girlfriend got in on this a few months ago. When i went to visit him for the Baylor/UT game. She showed me her check. It was for the sum of $4,324.44 and was stamped “Paid in full”.

(So not only are these folks gullible, they apparently don’t know how checks work? Oh- and an honorable mention for the District Finance Manager who, on receiving the message, promptly replied to “all” informing the recipients that the message was a hoax and not to forward it. Ummm, thanks for the valuable insight.)

Several comments posted in response to the story of Lee Schechinger, the carrier fired for playing the state lottery on his lunch break suggested that there had to be more to the story- and they were right.

According to records of the Iowa Unemployment Insurance Appeals Section, Schechinger had been a full time city carrier until he was fired in April 2005 for “falsification of United States Post Office documentation”. As the result of a “last chance” agreement, he was reinstated. The agreement required that Schechinger “be an exemplary employee and failure to meet any of the requirements as listed in his last chance agreement would result in his discharge”. Schechinger’s subsequent removal for gambling was grieved, and according to the Iowa agency, “the discharge was upheld by the union”.

Iowa Unemployment Insurance Appeals Decisions – SCHECHINGER V. US POSTAL SERVICE

The web’s a wonderful thing- after reading yesterday’s insane story about a rural carrier who got fired for playing the lottery on his lunch break, I did a little news search- and found this press release in a couple of seconds. I’ve removed the names to avoid getting another poor schmuck fired:

xxxxx, Dec. 12 /PRNewswire/ — xxxxx, a postal worker from xxxxx, became the first xxxxx player to win the $100,000 top prize when he successfully matched all xx numbers on Friday.

Last Friday, during his lunch hour, Mr. xxxxx decided to give the new Lottery game a try for the first time. He bought just one ticket, a “xx” at the xxxxx at xxxxx Street in xxxxx.

In xxxxx, xx numbers from a field of xx are computer generated and results of drawings are displayed at five minute intervals on television monitors where tickets are sold. Players try to match from xx numbers, so Mr. xxxxx was going for the biggest prize with his $1 xx play.

Mr. xxxxx randomly marked the xxxxx on his play slip. Five minutes later, he became the first player to win the xxxxx jackpot when all ten numbers he chose appeared on the display monitor. Today, he collected his $100,000 at the Lottery’s xxxxx prize payment center.

Mr. xxxxx has three grown sons, two of them married. He is an employee of the U.S. Postal Service at the xxxxx in xxxxx.”

A search on the individual’s name didn’t reveal any indication that he had subequently been fired. In fact, I haven’t been able to find any news stories telling of a postal employee being fired for buying a lottery ticket on his lunch hour.